I’m so sleep deprived and run down that it affects every aspect of my life.
Night times used to be ok but now they are awake multiple times and will only stay asleep if we co sleep (which I hate doing).
We have a night time routine but the times slightly deviate every night due to my hubby working late etc.
@Rhonda1990 I think the book, “Sleep Easy Solution” is amazing. It does use gradual release CIO, but if you follow the plan exactly, it works really well. I was afraid to use it with my first singleton.
I got her in the habit of rocking her to sleep for every nap and every night. She went through a phase when she was about 11 months old where she would wake up for about 3 hours in the middle of the night and nothing would get her back to sleep so I caved.
It took 24 minutes of crying with us checking in at timed intervals the first night and she has put herself to sleep every night and slept through every night since. She is almost 4 now. We were all so much happier once we were getting good sleep every night.
With my twins, I planned to use the book and I did when they were about 5 months old. It took about a week of working on it since they were a little younger, but after that I was able to put them down in their cribs for night and naps and say goodnight and they put themselves to sleep.
It is amazing to not have to devote so much time to getting them to go to sleep. They are 19 months now and super happy babies and awesome sleepers. I have no problem with people who don’t like CIO, but I think if you are willing to try it and are really consistent, it is an amazing way to teach your babies how to sleep.
Sorry that was so long! Hopefully it helps some. Good luck!
Naps used to be ok and now they are so bad I feel like I spend the entire day trying to get them to nap.
I’m by myself most of the times with the girls and I just feel like I’m drowning. I don’t have any time to myself, the house is a mess, the girls are constantly tired and it’s affecting my relationship with husband.
I guess my question is really how do I change all of this. Is sleep training the only way out?
I try and set a day time routine but one of my girls is a really fussy feeder and sometimes refuses to feed but will be too hungry to sleep.
The ladies are giving you some amazing advice. Here are mine:
Ok, that’s more than you wanted to hear but that’s how I started 🙂
Thank you so much. I do not mind trying CIO but because I am with the girls alone most if the time I think that’s what scares me. I will try anything to help them sleep better as I can tell they are si sleep deprived
I know I created the bad habits but at the time it seemed like the easiest way to get them to sleep.
Okay that was an essay. Sorry! My twins are 6 months on Wednesday, turned 4 months adjusted last week. They are boys. They are just now starting to take up to 6 oz at a feed. They have been. STTN for about 2 months. I didn’t keep track of that. They had one night wake starting about 2 months. They drink about 25-30 oz per day and have reached the growth curve for their actual age 🙂
I know consistency is key but as much as I try to stay consistent it’s like several things are thrown my way that make it impossible to stay consistent.
3. There will be some crying involved but pls don’t look at it as ” oh my poor baby is crying cause she’s upset” or “she needs her mommy to hold her”. Babies cry as a mean of communication and not every cry is out of desperation or emergency. They’ll be learning a new skill and that can be frustrating. We grown ups will talk, curse or even throw things when we’re trying to learn a new skill and since babies can’t do any of those they cry as a mean of communication.
1. Create a bedtime and naps routine. Routine creates security and confidence and the babies will know what’s coming next. Stick to it as best as you can. There are some days my DH doesn’t see the babies but you know what the babies will sleep through the night and everyone is happy.
I think I needed to get this off my chest and just try and see if anyone has any useful advice.
The tricky thing is that one of the girls is so fussy eating that it is a struggle getting her to feed during the day. I think what I really want is to be able to put them down to sleep without holding them etc. They were sleeping really well at night but now wake up either really early or multiple times and I’ve created a really bad habit by bringing them into bed with us. I think anything for a bit more sleep has been the reason for that.
I second everything others have said!! try anything and everything to get them to sleep, or if you need to sleep train you can always do just one at a time, it takes longer, but I slept in one room with my good sleeper while my husband slept in the guest room and sleep trained the ‘bad sleeper’ and then we worked on the other one. Also, is the room dark enough, is it too hot or cold, do you use a sound machine to drown out other sounds? We swear by making the environment consistent as much as possible! We also have crazy scheduled that make consistency easy, but try your hardest to make a bedtime routine, for us it was rocking to sleep, songs and then bed, but you do what works for you! I think if you are able to be consistent for a week it can help immensely! maybe check the calendar and look for a week coming up that is less crazy and try then? Also- this is random, but we had to get a different mattress for our ‘bad sleeper’ because the $100 Serta mattress my sister handed down to us was too firm- her kids never slept in their cribs really, they hated them so much. that she co-slept and put them in a pack and play in her room until they were walking and then did a mattress on the floor. Anyway, I switched their mattresses accidently one day (the other one was a $40 mattress from Walmart that my sister in law handed down to us) and he slept great! I went and bought another mattress asap!! it really helped our sleep issues. So I’d just say, try tweaking thugs a little here and there, whether it is feeding issues, sleep at night, more oz during the day, adding sound machine, or switching mattresses- figure out what works for your babies and keep going! I always say you can handle anything with at least some sleep, so I make sleep our priority!!
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Are you dealing with sleep regression? If they have always gotten up all night and are ff, try and get them to drink more during the day. If they get enough calories before sleeping, they won’t wake up and need to eat. Maybe try the book 12 hours by 12 weeks. It didn’t work for us, but it has some good suggestions on how to drop midnight feeds.
Sleep training board! And stick to a schedule! If you can afford it you can hire a sleep training specialist who will coach you through it and get you a personalized schedule etc. I did not go that route but I know people who have had success
This may not be popular and it’s not a good long term solution, but I think it’s tough to get organized and stick to a difficult schedule when you (and the babies) are sleep deprived and at your wits end. I would say just do whatever works for a few nights (ie co-sleep) until you feel a little better and then tackle a routine and stick to it knowing that it’ll get thwarted from time to time by sleep regression and teething.
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Mine are 7 weeks and we are trying to establish some sort of routine now, so I can’t help you. Just wanted to comment because I can relate to the sleep deprivation and doing what is easier rather than what is best in the long run. Hang in there, sending prayers your way. You’re a good mama
I am a FTM to twin girls who are 5.5 months old and I’ve created such bad habits from the beginning. The girls need to be held to fall asleep and when I lay them down they will wake up so I do it all over again.
Fussy try that new bottle with a different milk and give it a go. I saw drastic improvements when I changed mine
Thank you so much! What great advice, I will try and take this all on board.
So I imagine you might, too. Another thing I have learned the hard way is to only attempt feeding for 30 minutes whether they eat or not. Maybe she’s just not that hungry. So, for example, try feeding her from 11-11:30. Measure what she ate. (I use a ml measuring cup every single time. A mom on here rexommendsd a while back to only concern yourself with the end of the day numbers and not the numbers after each feed and that works for me.) No matter what she ate, don’t offer anymore until 2. I am about to start stretching our feeds to every 4 hours. I feed every 3 during the day because I want to make sure they make their oz quota throughout the day and don’t have to wake at night. Right now I am sitting in the dark with them in their nursery while they nap in their swings because as soon as I walk out someone coos for me. I need these little punks to nap so here I am trying to help another sister out! Seriously, I do whatever it takes to help them get their rest and I don’t mind sitting in my recliner also resting if that’s what it takes. My dishes can wait. If you need anymore help just ask. I’ll try my best to help you 🙂
Try to get a routine and stick to it no matter what …my twins just turned 6 months…we do baby food, bath , play , bottles then bed …by the time bottles come they’re rubbing their eyes ready for bed ….the key for me is getting them in their cribs before they get overly tired …they sleep from 6:30 pm – 3 am eat and go back down until 7 I’ve had that schedule since they were 2 months
Sleep training doesn’t have to be CIO. My advice is to start small. In our house my husband works crazy hours too. Some days he sees the babies for 5 minutes in the morning and that’s it. We keep their routine regardless. Maybe try that. At 7pm we take a bath. 7:30 bottles. 7:45 books. In bed by 8. Asleep by 8:05. We try to make 6-7 daddy play time but that only works maybe 4 nights a week (he works 7 days a week). They get whiney at 7 because they know bath time is coming.
I agree the sleep training board offers great advice. My boys just turned 6 months. Although they have always fallen asleep well, one has always been a fantastic sleeper and the other constant waking. After 5 months of waking every 2 hours only to have Mitchell drink 10 ml of milk and go back to sleep I decided to stop getting up every time he started to cry because clearly he wasn’t hungry and was just waking out of habit. I started only getting up every second time he cried. It took about a week of crying/grizzling before he started to sleep in longer stretches. My boys are still in my bedroom so I didn’t get much sleep at all that week (not that I was getting much before). Now I have them down to one feed each per night. They go to sleep between 6-7pm. Mitchell now wakes after about 8 hours at 2-3am, takes a bottle and straight back to sleep. Emerson, who has always been a great sleeper wakes at about 4 for his bottle and back to sleep. We all wake up at 6am for the day. Naps have always a bit all over the place. We go out a lot during the day, the boys will always sleep in the car and as long as I have fed them they will sleep in their pram. At home they get cranky if they are up longer than 2 hours. I have to feed them until they are asleep for naps otherwise they won’t go to sleep. At the moment they are only napping 45 mins each time they were napping 1.5 hours in the arvo but not atm. They have 3 naps. Last nap ending between 3.30-4pm. I learned with my older son, always put babies down still awake so they learn to fall asleep. I have never rocked my babies/co slept etc. so they are good at falling asleep. Sometimes you have to just let your babies cry. Just make sure their nappies are clean, bellies are full etc and leave them to learn to self settle. My older son is nearly 3 and he has consistently slept 12 hours a night without waking since I decided to drop his last night feed at 12 months ( I chose to keep that feed for 12 months). The sleep habits your babies develop now will determine how they sleep in the future.
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Since your problem seems to stem from the fussy eater, let’s try to find solutions that might help with that, too. I had a really bad/fussy eater that the doctors said had reflux but I refused to accept. We tried their way either way just in case and that didn’t help so then I tried my way and it did and I’m glad I listened to my instinct. We even switched pediatricians because of this. All it took was a formula switch (trial and error) and our lives have improved dramatically! What are your babies drinking? Mine started on Neosure (born at 32 weeks) and that was making them have tummy ache, constipation, projectile vomiting…it was awful! They started hating eating and would turn into little monsters when the bottles came around. They’d scream, thrash, cry, turn their faces away. At first it was just my small twin. The nurses at the NICU joked about how he was such a grumpy baby and I knew it had to be something else but all the professionals, air quotes, kept saying it was reflux! When my other twin started acting the same way I knew it had to be the formula. We tried Nutramigen but they hated the taste. Same for alimentum. Enfamil Prosobee they drank but not too happily and it made them constipated. Enfamil gentlease is our hero! The difference in my babies was noticeable within hours! I know this sounds corny but I was desperate like you to try anything that might work and am so glad I finally found something that did! Once they were both able to fill their tummies up, the naps came easier, too. Oh, we also switched bottles. Mam bottles were what my fussy eater preferred so we stuck to it for both since my big boy will drink from anything 🙂 We tried A LOT of brands and this one did the trick! We stuck to our daily scchedule of eating every three hours once they wake up after 6. If they woke up before 6, I’d feed them (only change them if they have poop) and put them straight back into their cribs. Do not talk with them. Do not smile. Don’t make eye contact (lol but seriously). Just go in, feed, walk away. What I did, since my kids don’t really ever cry for food, they just lay in their cribs and coo, is I write down how many oz they drink all day. If they have reached their quota for the day and they wake up and start chatting at night, I ignore them because I know they are not going to starve if I don’t feed them. I won’t pay attention to them until after 6am if they ate a good amount. Try switching the bottle for your fussy eater. Does she like her milk? Try a new bottle
2. Join the sleep training board and just look at the sample sleep schedule and just dive in and follow it for their age group.