Instead of nursing on the couch, set yourself up on the floor or on your bed. That way your 3 yr old can come close to you and you can interact. Our one on one time in those early days (and even now, depending) was often while both babies were sleeping/nursing on me.
I’m not sure how new the babies are and if you’re able to tandem yet, but using the nursing pillow and tandeming freed me up to do stuff with my older child at the same time. Twinmamas are multitasking masters! She was 2.
5 when the twins were born, so we did sticker books, puzzles, games like Candlyland and Chutes and Ladders, read books, coloring books, drew pictures together on paper, practiced writing letters on her magnadoodle.
…hopefully that gives you some ideas. And yes, when I needed a nap sometimes I still put on Sesame Street for her so I could sleep with the babies next to her, but I was able to keep the TV to a minimum this way.
Plus it gives you more resting time with the babies. ETA: Almost forgot–I also could nurse on the couch and set her up with playdough either at the coffee table or at a TV tray with a dining chair next to me.
That way I was close enough to supervise and she could show me her creations. I also would sit outside, put one baby in a bouncer to nap and nurse/hold the other, so she could play with outside toys, sidewalk chalk, or bubbles with me right there for interaction.
They get so needy when the babies are little, it’s good to try to station yourself close but be able to be seated with the babies.
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i found that my 2 year old would be in a better mood if he got out of the house for a few hours – can you have a babysitter or friend come over a few times a week to take your daughter on an adventure? my twins are almost 5 months now and life feels so much easier than it did in those first few months.
I have 10, 4, &2 year old children with twins due in january…dont worry you will find balance I’m.sure of it! LNbabes11 I told your story to my husband and he said “lets see if that works for us” lol luckily I knew he was kidding! You are so blessed and lucky but 5 is my limit I believe 🙂
@srshenslee Haha yeah! It’s a little crazy over here but so far so good î– congrats to all! îŒ§
I’m not sure what to do. I will be watching this thread as I have been wondering how I am going keep track of my toddler while stuck on the couch nursing.
@GotTwins4MomMe Lol, if my twins go to term, then my DD will be 15 months when they are born. Im just hoping DD is walking and talking by then! 🙂 Our plan currently is to do shopping when DH is home.
.one of us stays with the kids and the other runs the errands. He works M-F, so at least we can schedule DD’s dentist appts on saturdays. And we may have to get a sitter for dr appts, and just take the child who is actually having the appt, if DH cant get off to watch the kids.
We will figure it out one day at a time. 🙂
@GotTwins4MomMe I have a 7 yo, 2 yo and 4 month old twin girls. When the twins were born my youngest was 20 months. It is definitley duable. For the most part in the beginning the twins eat and sleep and whenever they slept i spent time with my youngest.
I include her in all the diaper changes and even let her help me with bath time. Its gets easier once you get them on a schedule. I did have a few days I would be overwhelmed but it passes and you get the hang of things.
Good Luck:) It will all work out 🙂
There are the podee bottles on ebay- they look awesome, if i have another bub I will definitely be getting some of these! TamikaI had triplets and the best things that helped me survive was definitely strict routine (I stuck like glue to 10 / 2 / 6 routine they were put in during hospital stay), I woke them all for feeds at same time, we used Podee bottles (I think that’s spelling – they are on eBay – hands free feeding for u – we put all 3 in bouncers with bottle between their legs and teat up under bib into mouth….
best invention EVER!), some formula companies (if or when u use) will deliver to ur door, bulk boxes of nappies and online grocery orders were a lifesaver! DebbieI had a 3year old when my twins were born 5 and half years ago and I wasn’t given this tip but suggest it to others who are having twins Buy a cover for your pram so you can cover your babies when your out.
If they are uncovered every man and his dog will stop you and it will take you 3 times as long to anything. When they are covered no one will stop you and you will be able to shop in peace and get your chores done a lot quicker.
Lol LeahDefinitely keep them on the same routine – feed them at the same time, put them to bed at the same time, play at the same time. I didn’t worry too much about the time on the clock, but rather keeping them in sync with each other!! It pays off as they get older too And ignore all the comments you will get when you take all 3 kids out!! I had 4 children under four when our twins arrived.
We didn’t have a lot of hands on support. The biggest thing would be, it doesn’t matter what it is, if it works do it! VanessaI had an 11mth old when my twins were born. My best tip I was given is don’t sweat the small stuff, if the twins don’t get bathed 1 day its not the end of the world, that extra time of sleep is more important.
The other: I don’t even remember the first 12mths as it goes so fast so don’t worry you’ll get through these early days. PamI’m expecting twins and I’ve read Save our Sleep by Tizzie Hall and I’m currently reading Gina Fords Contented Baby for Twins.
If you’ve got a 2 year old, you’ve got experience mummy- trust your instincts. My only guess would be to have special things for your 2 year old to do while you’re feeding etc. maybe some new DVDs you can pull out.
A friend made a cool ‘cubby house’ which was like a converted table cloth that she put over the dining room table. Really occupied her daughter while she was with her newborns. Good luck. You’ll be fab.
JaneI was in the exact same position almost 9 years ago now. The best advice I can give is from day one get the twins into the same feeding and sleeping routine as each other. This way they are sleeping at the same time which gives you some one on one time with your 2yr old.
Plus helps make life a little easier. You will most definitely have days where you feel like you are being pulled in all different directions but it gets easier as the weeks go by. Don’t be ashamed to ask for or accept help.
No one will thing any less of you nor will it make you any less of a wonderful Mum. But most of all just take one day at a time and enjoy all 3 of your beautiful babies! EmmaI had 15mths between my twins and the next oldest ( had 6 under 6 at the time ) my best tip is if 1 wakes up to feed do both get them on roughly the same feeding shedule, its really easy to feed both at same time and have something to keep the toddler happy eg puzzles colouring book KarenDisposable plates, cups, cutlery, etc for the first few weeks is the best thing I found.
. I had 4 under 5 when my twins were born and I don’t think I could have managed without doing that. Getting into the routine of housework again became easier when the twins were settled with their feeding routines.
KrystalTry looking up this group: Support, Questions and Chat for Feeding Multiples! And other fun questions. I have found it to be great for info and advice. Also your local AMBA group. BernadetteIf one wakes up, wake the other and feed them at the same time.
Have snacks ready for your toddler so they can help themselves while you are busy feeding. Having a routine as they get older is really helpful for you and for them. There is 13 months between my twins and their older brother and those 3 have been on nearly the same routine since the girls turned 1.
Also I moved my change table and had spare clothes, nappies, cloths etc easily accessible in the hallway just outside my lounge room. That way I could supervise my 2 older boys (4 & 1) while I was changing one of the girls.
I also had a playpen so that I could sit them in a bouncer or lay them on the floor without worrying about my 13 month old being too rough while I was busy changing the other. FaithMy twins were born when my first born was a month of being 2, my tip would be to do the bare minimum and put any feelings of guilt aside.
First year is the hardest. My twins are now 2 and 4yr old starts school next year it’s easier than ever now! RavenI have 11 week old boy twins and a 3 yr old girl. Definetly feeding together…didn’t think I would be able to keep up but almost 3 months and I have.
My daughter attends day care one day…which is good break for her and catch up on house work. Also feeling baskets in main room with nappies etc and changes of clothes has helped ( found with the boys they can sometimes leak threw the night and being organized saved a lot of stress.
AngelaDon’t have twins but I would say thank god I stocked up on nappies and thank god my toddler was toilet trained Katherine
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@GotTwins4MomMe 🙂 Thanks Mamas!!! I have a 14 yr old and an 11 yr old as well. The twins make 5 for us as well!!! The two older ones will be a big help im sure! You all just eased my mind even more! I feel confident now! Got some really good pointers with thia post! And Holy Moly to the Moms with multiple multiples!!!!! Much props going to you ladies!! We’re stopping with these girls! 5 is our limit as well!!!!
I have 2 year old twins and 4 month old twins. And my 2 year old twins are definitely terrible right now. I only go to the grocery store with the new baby twins and my 5 year old singleton. Hubby stays with the 2 year olds.
I do have part-time help to bring the 2 year olds to the park 2/3 times a week. It’s helps tons. I swear you can accomplish anything if you think positive. I get overwhelmed all the time but I try to breath and know that things will get easier.
You can do it 🙂
i’m sorry you are not getting more advise. my son was 19 months when my twins were born. it was extremely challenging and he did end up watching tv – ( ugg – the guilt – he wasn’t even 2) the one piece of advise i got that made a huge difference in his life was to be sure to give him some undivided attention each day.
for us this was time spent in his room reading before naptime. i would make sure the twins were fed and changed and safe – if they fussed a bit they would have to wait. i also took advantage of offers from friends and family to take him on special outings – walks, playtime at grandparents, etc.
we worked to establish a routine to our day – and my triple stroller saved us – we would go out for a walk most days – even though it was hard to get everyone out of the house. it worked wonders on everyone’s mood.
maybe with a three year old you could have some books or crafts or something you could set up near to where you are nursing that would occupy your toddler. i wish i had more to offer. my twins are 4 now – and it’s hard to remember those early days.
those days were very challenging – but it is so amazing to have three children that are best friends.
I know how you feel. My daughter turns 2 April 23 and these twins are due June 6 is I go 40 weeks. I will also have 4 and 6 year olds home as well. Not sure how i am going to handle 5 kids with the oldest only being 6…yikes.
@GotTwins4MomMe I have two year old twins and four month old twins. It is certainly not easy but totally manageable. Enlist DH for help. For example, I take the kids grocery shopping while he stays home with the babies.
The two year olds love their brothers and, although they gave jealous moments, are understanding and willing to help. I took all four to the doctor by myself yesterday as DH is recovering from surgery, that was an undertaking! Good luck to you!
I’m so concerned when I think about trying to care for all 3 kids at once!!! My 2 year old is going through the terrible twos right now and whats going to happen when I have 2 newborns to care for and feed (breastfeeding) How will I be able to keep them all content at the doctor visits, and how on earth can I go to the grocery store when I have 3 babies!!?? I’m so freaking out about this!! LOL! I know we will survive and I know I will learn as I go but if anybody has wisdom they would like to share, please do!!! Luckily I am a stay at home Momma! Just wondering how severe my son will act out due to lack of the attention he now gets.
He does play alone very well and has no problem entertaining himself but there are the moments everyday he absolutley wants the attention and hes a little awnery so I’m just curious how were going to deal with it!!!
Im just after anyones ‘thank god I was told this!’ tips for looking after newborn twins and a toddler who will be almost 2 when they’re born.
I have 8 months old twins and am expecting triplets… Also have a 7 year old dd. I’m gonna have 5 under 2… î
Just wondering how you dealt with newborn twins and and older toddler. I feel like my fuse is so short with her. It seems she spends most of the day in front of the tv which is something I never wanted to resort too but I am stuck onthe couch nursing the twins all day.
I also had a c-section so I can’t pick her up. I have been trying to steal little moments to spend time alone with her but I feel like jekyl and hyde with her because I am so impatient. Any tips or is this just the way it is.
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It really is tough, and there is no easy answer.I’ll be honest with you– I’m totally against TV for toddlers, in the abstract, but in the most intense months with my newborn twins, my DD1 (2 1/2 when the twins were born) watched quite a bit.
You have to do what you have to if you’re going to get through the day. FWIW, I can’t see that the few months of TV did her much harm. She’s 5 now.Getting time for DD1 alone had to be a priority, even if it meant that DH had to cope with two crying babies when he got home in the evening.
Even 15 minutes a day can make a big difference for a child that age, if you spend it exclusively with them, and let them decide how to spend the time. So I really recommend that.We had the good luck that I found a girl from a local college who would come over for a few hours twice a week, to take DD out to the playground and stuff.
Another friend of mine also frequently did the same.I also tried to arrange it so that the babies would both be sleeping at the same time around lunchtime, so that DD and I could have lunch together, even if it was just sandwiches on the floor of the kitchen.
Recovering from a c-section and caring for twins and a toddler is hard, hard, exhausting, arduous work. Be kind to yourself. You are only one person with two hands and you can only do so much. Take it one minute at a time.
If you get through the day with everybody fed and nobody injured, count it a great day. Don’t feel too guilty about the TV, or about your older child having to wait to have her needs met. You’re doing the best you can.
A mama of twins who’s just had surgery and also has another child needs help. If your partner is not taking a fair share of the work, then you may need to ask more clearly for help. It’s also a good time to look at your roster of family and friends and see if there’s anybody else you can rope in to help.
I had one friend who used to come over and hold the babies while I took a shower, and then she’d help me bathe them, and that was nice. Another friend used to bring me groceries.I’ve learned several things in the last few years since my twins were born: 1.
Anyone who can care for multiple babies AND older kids while also recovering from major surgery is a superwoman. After you’ve done this, everything else you ever try in your life will seem easy.2. Kids are incredibly resilient.
A few months in front of the TV or banging around the house will not harm them. Nor will having to endure some minor frustrations like having to share mama or wait to have non-urgent needs met. Your child will be more patient and independent as a result.
3. It’s all worth it when they get older and you can see them playing and interacting, and realize how much joy and comfort they derive from having each other. I know my daughter had a really hard time adjusting to her sibs.
I can see now that it was the best thing that ever happened to her.4. Some fresh air and sunshine can change your entire attitude. Even if you just get as far as the front porch. Also, babies will often sleep longer in the fresh air.
I’d nurse mine to sleep and then set them in the double stroller, and let them doze while DD played in the yard and I sat in a lawn chair and soaked up the sun. It really does help. Even some days we’d just get in the car and drive through the drive-through Taco Bell, and it was enough to recharge everybody.
5. Sometimes they all cry, and you can’t be everywhere or do everything, and it’s okay. Sometimes you cry too, and you all cry together. Those days happen. It passes, like everything else does.
@GotTwins4MomMe Glad to read this post and see I’m not alone! I have 7, 5 and 2 yr olds and my ID boys will be 3 mos tmrw. Feeling proud to have made it this far with no “help” although my husband is very helpful.
We divide and conquer a lot. Grocery shop on the weekend – either he goes with an older boy or 2 or I go with 1 baby. If he’s unable to be home at bedtime, it’s hard. I get my 2 yr old to pick out books while I’m breastfeeding.
..I can entertain him a bit with them. I also let him watch a little TV.